I remember it was St. Patrick’s massacre day I got very huffy and puffy about pagan holidays being converted into xtian and catholic holidays. It was the first time ever that it meant so much to me. I began with refusing to wear green because it supported the murder of innocent people. I even ranted about it on facebook and said at the end “Don’t even get me started on Easter”
The truth is all of my information about the sabbats and rituals and history didn’t come from books or word of mouth but from spirits. I would write about these things and talk about things I didn’t think I knew anything about. Then I would look into the history and find I was writing word for word these pieces of history.
So let me talk about Ostara and my experience with it. It’s no secret nor surprise where the egg laying hare and the goddess of fertility come to play on this holiday I will only speak of how it worked with me and how I showed my thanks.
I received a text message from an atheist friend of mine saying “Happy pagan fuck day!” I could only laugh because I hate to admit it but it is kind of true. For me since I do not procreate when I have sex because there is no spell for making another guy pregnant no matter how hard I channel the ancient energies I have not found one single ritual in mating. But my sexuality becomes more potent on Ostara. I smell the sweetness in the air and notice all the animals in pairs on this day and how everything is in synch. I feel the spirits of sexuality and birth and fertility even stronger than any other day. I mean there is just something about Ostara that makes two seem more balanced than ever. It finally happened for me. I went to a friend’s house who I was actually trying to end what ever it was between us because I felt we were at a dead end in our relationship as I wanted more he wanted less and I was very upset and decided to leave and hugged him good bye but right when I hugged him I felt our hearts beating in synch and a rush of energy flowing through me and him. The windows were closed but we both smelled the sweet air I asked him if he felt it too and he did. We didn’t speak but our minds were transpiring back and forth and we were connected. In other words the sex was the best it ever was between us we both couldn’t stop and it lasted for hours. I finally called her name out loud Ostara! I said it three times and the window blew open from the inside and the doors blew closed.
The rest of the day went well. Pretty mundane for the most part besides continuing to watch everything in synch. It wasn’t until close to midnight that I finally climaxed sexually. I lost all of my tools in the move and haven’t been able to do a proper ritual in months but nevertheless I decided to dedicate my climax to her I used my seed on an egg at first I was going to bury it but I threw it at the moon at 11:59 over my fence and I knew once my seed touched the yolk it would be the sign of fertility.
I personally am not modest with my sexuality as it’s not in my nature to hide or think of it as taboo, and my spirituality has a large play in my sexuality, however I feel like a part of me has gone through a rebirth as a direct result of Ostara. It gave me a new appreciation to the Sabbats and from the rebirth I find myself willing to completely give my life to the lighter grey path as I have practiced the dark side most of my pagan life since 9. Anyways thank you for letting me share my story.
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