Tonight I will be posting on a sensitive subject. However it's something I feel very strongly about especially since coming down to south Florida. I would like to talk about HIV and Crystal Meth.
We all know what meth is and we all know about HIV we also know that the stereotype of HIV has a stigma associated with homosexuals when the real statistics of HIV infection is actually heterosexual women. I'm not here to talk about statistics.
I'm going to talk about the meth and queer sex scene otherwise known as Party N Play (PNP)
Recently I was contacted on an undisclosed dating site by a friend of mine who recently relapsed on meth. He wanted me to come over and have sex with him while he "partied" he is also HIV positive. Being HIV positive is not a death sentence and doesn't make someone sexually unappealing or un-dateable however the meth thing and HIV thing is and does here's why.
Meth makes one feel alive, horny and unstoppable. Also enables unsafe sexual practices leading to infection of STD's. When people do meth and have sex (party and play) they are playing a very dangerous game and what's worse during the height of meth addiction they just don't care. Once they are infected they think "what's the point of being safe I'm poz he's poz what could happen?" Well I will tell you what happens: Say you are taking medication and he is taking a different medication for a different strain to the virus (because HIV has over 1,000,0000 different strains alone) You will not only catch your partner's strain as well as infect him with your strain, you will also develop and an immunity to not only his medication but yours as well. Say you are taking medication and he's not or vice versa you will catch his strain and also build an immunity to his medication. With meth and HIV already damaging your immune system the chances are very high for additional infection and it doesn't happen slowly, it's rapid. Say you are un-detectable and he's not or vice versa you will catch his strain and not only will you no longer be undetectable you will have several strains. Say you are negative and the person you are having sex with is un-detectable. Your immune system is damaged by meth need I say more? Ok I will you will catch his virus and the medication he took to make himself un-detectable will not work.
Ok now that we did a break-down of the effects of PNP, are you still thinking it's a party? If so read on:
HIV is not what it used to be, it is not a death sentence and having it nowadays with the medication they have now you can live a full and healthy life. However there are other things you can contract while in the PNP scene that will make it a death sentence heres an example: forms of HEPATITIS A and B predominately. C if you shoot up and share needles razors and toothbrushes. Also don't forget now that you have several different med resistant strains you are even more prone to develop full blown med-resitant AIDS meaning your parents, family and friends will not only have to bury you early but watch you suffer severely slowly.... I won't continue even I can't bear the thought.
Still think it's a fucking party?
What about this. Even without HIV/AIDS being in the picture meth has these effects no one can get past: Sleeplessness resulting in delusions and visions and voices. Paranoia to where you think your own pets are undercover cops. Fits of rage and violence. skin picking to where you look like you are ridden with disease. Not eating resulting in extreme weight loss not in the glam way because you lose wieght so rapidly you skin sags making you look at least 15 years older if not worse. Not being able to think clearly while thinking you have it together. Psychosis even if you do sleep. Sleep walking. Talking extremely fast and not being able to control words or speech. If you have artistic creativity it will destroy it and you with it. Oh wait a minute lets not forget about rapid rotting of your teeth. Ok so you brush and floss? Well I have news for you. Your teeth rot from the inside and could take years even after stopping for that effect to take place.
So now that I have stated my opinions based on fact I will tell you something about me. I was a heroin junkie for 10 years. I am not proud of it however I will tell you something I don't normally go into. I was addicted to meth throughout my teen years. At first it made me feel alive, it made me the best dancer in the raves and parties and clubs it made me one hell of a writer and I was one of the few queers to not get involved in the PNP scene. But in the few short years I was on meth it did more damage to me than any other drug I ever tried or got hooked on. More than heroin did me. I cannot sit and compare and say heroin is better than meth but here's what I saw: All of my dead friends (and there are many as I have attended more funerals and memorials than anything else) 7 out of 10 of them (and I'll guestimate I lost 30) died from meth's PNP scene. I watched people with bright futures slowly destroy themselves for that Party and Play. My friends who died from opiates just died while I watched my tweaker friends die slowly......
I can't get into the past though. Even though it made me stronger.
Let me close with this: If you still think meth is a party, well more power to you. If you think none of this will happen to you. Well I pray it doesn't but I buried many who thought that way. Party on.......